Shamanism

A small taste into my own personal Journey into madness, to discover the Mystery of life through Ayahuasca and the tradition of Shamanism.

I cannot speak for anyones account of what Ayahuasca is to them, or what a shaman knows. I can only tell you my own experiences and what truth is to me. Because no matter what i read and hear from others, my experience is the only one that matters. and my beliefs from my experience is the only thing that is real for me. 

A Shaman is the word for "healer" or "medicine man" in ancient traditional cultures. The shaman almost always uses altered states of consciousness to heal their patients. The ayahuasca space you go into when under the medicine is created especially to get in contact with the spirits so they can come and interact with all participating passengers in the ceremony. And to essentially heal them from any underlying illnesses. 

How Ayahuasca heals?

So when Ayahuasca is drunk, you are not intoxicated, you are not drunk, you are just in a state of super clear consciousness. You are so aware of your being that everything makes sense. In the space the role of a shaman is to guide and directed through what you are experiencing. The Icaros they sing (songs to call the spirits)  are there so Ayahuasca and whatever good spirits are inside you mind, body and soul to decipher, understand and resolve whatever illnesses mental or physical are present in your being.

It is nothing short of a miracle. 

Shamanism....

Before I did Ayahuasca, i had my own personal beliefs of shamanism and what a shaman is. I can honestly say now that all my previous pre conceptions have been blown out the window.

Let me tell you why from my account. 

I am a shaman, it wasn't my choice, it was the choice of the spirit of Ayahuasca. As simple as that, in my first ceremony she came to me and told me in clear intuitive english that i was born for this, she showed me how the spirits claimed as a child and called for me through previous near death experiences i've had in my life. Which I did not understand and had absolutely no control of.

Because in my perception, to be a shaman there are a lot of factors, but one of the most sure fired way is to come in contact with a spirit who tries to kill you, and that is the test. For me it was 10 hours locked in a cage repeatedly under attack from forces unknown. But that is a story for another day.

The reasons why i never understood my calling to Ayahuasca was because i never surrendered myself to my devine purpose, and in this life funnily enough, it is to be an Ayahuascero or Curandero (Shaman). 

So in my extremely brief and tiny introduction to Shamanism, I did 21 ceremonies in the space of a month and a half, around half of them were private (one on one) with the two shamans in the Amazonas. Who sequentially became my spiritual parents, Maestro Elias and Sara. A husband and wife duo working for the Vida Libre retreat centre in Iquitos Peru.

So besides learning about the different plant medicines and some Icaros that were taught, I realize they were not training me to be a shaman, they were just looking after and creating the space for the spirits to teach me directly.

If you can wrap your head around that. There is no textbook instructions on how to be a shaman, there are books no libraries no notes nothing. You literally learn from the spirits directly. What does that mean?

When you are in the Ayahuasca space, it is 100% specifically modified for you, Ayahuasca creates the space you need in order to learn or to heal. So I had healing ceremonies, and i had learning ceremonies where spirits taught me through realization and awareness. And they are real, because i can see them in ceremony and they speak to me in whatever ways/language necessary to get through to me.

So no one will truly know what Ayahuasca is, not a man whose done it 20 times, not a shaman whose done it 20 000 times. Because what Ayahuasca is, can never be experienced directly, because when you ingest ayahuasca she manipulates herself to be presented to you, she manipulates the space specifically for the individual or individuals. That is why every single ceremony is a whole different world to the previous one. 

What a shaman does i feel, is just to make first contact with mother ayahuasca, to allow her to create a safe space where her spirit can interact with you whatever way she determines would be the best for you to learn.

IT IS ALL REAL. because you see it, you understand it, you feel it. You experience it. it is not worlds you create out of imagination. Because you can never imagine what you see, it is not possible, the geometric patterns, the beings, spirits, ghosts, worlds you dive into.

For example...

In one of my ceremonies, very common.

 I saw a giant Snake, MASSIVE, 60 foot long slithering in front of me looking at me directly in the eye. Ayahuasca wanted me to enter her. I was terrified I didn't know what to do, get eaten alive by this Giant Anaconda? You must be crazy... But as soon as I mentally prepared myself to enter this beast, she opened her mouth and swallowed whole whole. Straight away i was transported into another dimension of space and light and love. Millions of stars lit up the sky so bright and beautiful it filled my heart with love. I was flying in this unknown beautiful magnificent world.

that is what it means to fall in love with the Unknown, the Mystery that ayahuasca creates for you to experience, and each time it is completely captivating and different. 

So to sum up, those who are interested i cannot have any description or stories to make you believe the wonder, beautiful love you receive with ayahuasca.

It is your own journey, through courage and strength for you to experience it for your own. 

because I can show you the door, I can open it for you. But it is YOU who has to step through it. 

You have to make the conscious decision to go against everything you've been taught, all your instincts straight into the Mystery, and when you do, you will discover the meaning of true adventure, enormous strength and the best of all. The reward of Love.

From the City to the Jungle and back to the City

A very strange thing has been happening to me in the past year.

A spiritual awakening, with a very funny plot...

All my life i have looked in the mirror, and never recognized who I was. I thought i knew.. i forced myself to think that i knew. But in the moments when I was alone, or unhappy I knew deep down that I didn't know. I wanted to know so badly, that i created identities from my own mind to convince me I was somebody.

Isn't that what life is about? To be somebody..

When you drink Ayahuasca, you find out who you are, behind your name, behind your body, behind all the labels people have put on you. But most importantly, behind your thoughts, because who you think you are is not even who you are. You travel deep into your soul to find out. And i mean deep, deep into your soul.

All roads along the path lead to the same place. And i have tried many roads, all was a dead end. This was not because they were false, but because i had set upon a journey out of fear. But none the less, when someone realizes they are not who they think they are, it sets them in the right direction.

So through trail and error, a lot of prayers and a lot of drugs. I found myself on the path once again, this time I wasn't running from my fears, I was diving straight into them.

After my first few Ayahuasca ceremonies (I have 21 now under my belt) I realized this is what i want to do for the rest of my life, helping people face their fears. Because those who have truly overcome their fears will tell you, the only way to do so is to become your fear.


So i continued to spent a month in the jungle, mostly in solitary, with no one to speak english too as well. With the shamans and villagers.

My daily routine was to wake up 6 am. I would drink tea do my washing. Meditate until 8, have breakfast, come back to my house and lie in bed until 10, meditate some more, have lunch at 1, chill with the shamans, maybe go fishing or head to the village to play soccer. Come back for dinner around 7, watch the sunset over the river and lie in bed and fantasize about being with my Girl at a nice bar in the city having wine, with my all my friends around.

And that alone was a trip in itself, mentally so boring it really fucks with your mind. And apart from that, every second night I would do a full cup of ayahuasca and go for a ride for a good 4 - 6 hours.

Eventually I had I had come to the self realization, this physical world is very limited.

Most of the time we spent traveling alone, from A to B. Most of the time we live in our minds, never truly getting what we desire out of life, that ecstasy we feel. During sex, during praise, accomplishment, success, luck. We just spend it fantasizing for those moments to happen.

With Ayahuasca, I realize the spiritual/mental realm is more real, more exciting, more challenging then this physical world will ever be. When you come back down from the trip, you don't fantasize anymore, you just live in this present moment. You appreciate everything there is right now, not in the future, not in the past. Right now. It made life so very graceful and serene.

The jungle behind me, the river in front. I knew I was home. What I didn't understand at the time, was home was not because of my location in this, home was not because of the Ayahuasca, not because of prayers not even because of happiness. Home is literally being in this present moment.

So nearing the end of my 2 months with mother ayahuasca, in the jungle. A new fear developed, to be back in the city, in the world of ego. And where was my next stop, none other then the Giant City of Singapore. My birth place. How was I going to keep it together, in this world money and face value is portrayed subliminally as the ultimate goal, I was so scared but under the instructions of Ayahuasca I had to come back to spread the seeds.

It has been 2 weeks since i touched down.

My perception after ayahuasca has really made life interesting, the good the bad into one big adventure, physically, mentally and spiritually.

After Ayahuasca has touched your life, you see the world similar to that of a child. The feeling of the unknown, every corner you turn leads to a whole new world. No fear, no commitments, just pure wonder in the mystery.

But if you do not practice what has been experienced, you will fall back into the traps of society. If you do not devote time in an unstable, plastic, materialistic environment. It will once again consume you.

That has been my hardest challenge, to remind myself of what is real.

Life is a fucking game, thats all it is. A game for our Soul.

But with any game, like chess for example, you have to plan carefully, make sure things are where you want them to be, always moving forward. But if you loose or something bad happens, fuck it WHO CARES, move on.

As Christ says "To be in this world, but not of it"

to allow yourself to indulge in this gift which is life, but not to be entrapped and attached to it. To play our roles as son, friend, lover, father, daughter, mother, banker, student, athlete whatever. But to not hold onto them when something bad happens, to allow for change.

Keeping this in mind, it is easier said then done, and every night still i wish i was somewhere else with someone else. Being in the moment is short lived when your mind wonders, and trust me my mind fucking wonders to far imaginary lands. as with most I'm sure.

I stay connected to God through song and prayer but the boredom is taking its toll on my ego. Friends, family and money seem to bring me down often. Even thoughts of being with my lover brings me down because they are just thoughts and in time they will pass. i don't have her here..yet

So it is a very hard practice, and as much as we like to think we are enlightened beings, and we are. We also have to remember we are human, Ego is always present as long as flesh exists.

So i have been forgiving myself and accepting each time I fuck up. Each time i want to eat shitty, each time I curse and swear at people behind their backs, most helpful is when i forgive all my sexual perversity. It is important to not deny our sexual needs. It is one of the best ways to release stress and get back in touch with God. The feeling of ecstasy during orgasm is needed to continue living in your roles.

Don't get me wrong, i think it is a beautiful thing to abstain from sex with your lover or yourself or whoever and have it after a short period. It makes it 10 times more intense. But to suppress it for long extended periods goes totally against our biology and God for that matter.

I think people in todays society have such a warped view on sex it is seen as joke or something disgusting. When you truly connect with a person, sex is just another step closer. There should be no guilt, no pressure. Just souls connecting through their physical manifestations. You have to experience it for yourself to understand. You should never believe what anyone writes because truth is only experience. Share it with someone you love deeply, abstain and then indulge.

I have been struggling with sex all of my teenage life even up until i did ayahuasca i never properly understood what sex really is, I thought it was just primal, physical. To have a physical orgasm is one thing, to have a psychological, spiritual orgasm is a whole another world. And when it is understood and believed, you just can't wait to practice it ;)

It is also important to understand, there are no rules to love. You can love anyone and everyone as deeply as you want. Regardless of gender, age, appearance, roles.

Living in this big city, puts a lot of pressure to act accordingly. Social structures, government structures. I have to remind myself often I am Free. I am not apart of any structure but my own, no one owns me, no one can control me. God does everything, and the last thing on Gods mind is controlling us. His Creation, his children.

So I am 2 weeks in, I will definitely write about the end of my journey here. The souls I've shared it with, the joy and the struggles. All I appreciate. What God gives you is a gift. Whether it'd be the most beautiful moments or the darkest ones. It is all a gift from the divine. And I am thankful for the experiences i am given, and i love myself for my beauty, my darkness and my insecurities.

Once again feel free to ask any questions regarding, Ayahuasca or my beliefs. Feel free to research Ayahuasca and check out Vida Libre Retreat Website if you want to experience the magic for yourself.

www.vidalibreperu.com 

Ayahuasca in Peru

I had just finished a two year service in the army, which i entered straight after high school. Totally lost in direction, hating the idea of regular work, CBF with the idea of education. I went back to Australia to try an ignite an old flame. Fighting. The only thing, pretty much i knew how to do. Years and years of abusing my body, my heart and ego. 

But life as we know, had other plans. Sometimes we had to learn the hard to what those plans are.

So after a series of unfortunate events, it was time to drop the bucket, quit my job, leave my old life behind and head to the jungle.

Planning for Ayahuasca..

So in Iquitos, Peru. The Ayahuasca industry is massive. Tons of tourists from every inch of the globe, flock down to this small city on the basin of the Amazon River just to encounter the magical plant Ayahuasca in the hopes it will lead them to something more than what this life has to offer. To those who come with an open heart, it gives them exactly that.

When you land in Iquitos, which is a two hour flight from Lima (the capital of Peru), you will notice you fly across untouched jungle, no agriculture, no other towns or cities. Just pure jungle. Very Beautiful.

If you have done your research, you will also know that there are many many big and small retreats in Peru. Now I am not here to tell you why the one I am with is better than any other, but i will tell you why it is fucking awesome. Why you should definitely pay for quality, and also why it is a good idea to experience the intensity of Ayahuasca in a safe comfortable environment.

There are a lot of different people, who think that if you don't go hard core, trekking through the jungle, doing Ayahuasca with a shaman in a hut somewhere in the middle of the amazon. You won't get an authentic Ayahuasca experience.

From my experience, and my belief. That is just complete and utter bullshit.

What you need for a true Aya experience, is a

1. Powerful, good hearted Shaman
2. Your courage.

That is it.

This is also why, you want to have as much comfort and safety in the environment as possible. You do not want to be shitting your guts out, puking uncontrollably or tripping balls in an uncomfortable environmental. It will complete freak you out, ruin your trip and possibly cause you harm.

For example, in the middle of the jungle. If you are deep under the medicine and lets say a snake crawls up your pants. What the fuck will you do?

That's why it is so important to choose a place, with knowledgable westernize people, who can provide that comfort, that safety, so you don't have to worry about that shit and concentrate on yourself.

The other reason why it is better to do research, and plan ahead is because there are many wolves in sheep's clothing in Peru. They will say their uncle is a shaman, and then take you to the middle of the jungle, rob you and leave you there.

That will be an opposite experience. You do not want.

So here is pretty much all you need to know on why you should plan ahead, and pick somewhere recognize and pay for quality as well.

I will place the link to the retreat i will be working for. We provide an authentic experience, we have great shamans, personally i have worked with 5 different ones. We have a great camp, great modern facilities, awesome food. Good activities. Just clean, professional and fucking fun people. So check it out.

Any other questions please feel free to comment or even message me. :)

www.vidalibreperu.com