A small taste into my own personal Journey into madness, to discover the Mystery of life through Ayahuasca and the tradition of Shamanism.
I cannot speak for anyones account of what Ayahuasca is to them, or what a shaman knows. I can only tell you my own experiences and what truth is to me. Because no matter what i read and hear from others, my experience is the only one that matters. and my beliefs from my experience is the only thing that is real for me.
A Shaman is the word for "healer" or "medicine man" in ancient traditional cultures. The shaman almost always uses altered states of consciousness to heal their patients. The ayahuasca space you go into when under the medicine is created especially to get in contact with the spirits so they can come and interact with all participating passengers in the ceremony. And to essentially heal them from any underlying illnesses.
How Ayahuasca heals?
So when Ayahuasca is drunk, you are not intoxicated, you are not drunk, you are just in a state of super clear consciousness. You are so aware of your being that everything makes sense. In the space the role of a shaman is to guide and directed through what you are experiencing. The Icaros they sing (songs to call the spirits) are there so Ayahuasca and whatever good spirits are inside you mind, body and soul to decipher, understand and resolve whatever illnesses mental or physical are present in your being.
It is nothing short of a miracle.
Shamanism....
Before I did Ayahuasca, i had my own personal beliefs of shamanism and what a shaman is. I can honestly say now that all my previous pre conceptions have been blown out the window.
Let me tell you why from my account.
I am a shaman, it wasn't my choice, it was the choice of the spirit of Ayahuasca. As simple as that, in my first ceremony she came to me and told me in clear intuitive english that i was born for this, she showed me how the spirits claimed as a child and called for me through previous near death experiences i've had in my life. Which I did not understand and had absolutely no control of.
Because in my perception, to be a shaman there are a lot of factors, but one of the most sure fired way is to come in contact with a spirit who tries to kill you, and that is the test. For me it was 10 hours locked in a cage repeatedly under attack from forces unknown. But that is a story for another day.
The reasons why i never understood my calling to Ayahuasca was because i never surrendered myself to my devine purpose, and in this life funnily enough, it is to be an Ayahuascero or Curandero (Shaman).
So in my extremely brief and tiny introduction to Shamanism, I did 21 ceremonies in the space of a month and a half, around half of them were private (one on one) with the two shamans in the Amazonas. Who sequentially became my spiritual parents, Maestro Elias and Sara. A husband and wife duo working for the Vida Libre retreat centre in Iquitos Peru.
So besides learning about the different plant medicines and some Icaros that were taught, I realize they were not training me to be a shaman, they were just looking after and creating the space for the spirits to teach me directly.
If you can wrap your head around that. There is no textbook instructions on how to be a shaman, there are books no libraries no notes nothing. You literally learn from the spirits directly. What does that mean?
When you are in the Ayahuasca space, it is 100% specifically modified for you, Ayahuasca creates the space you need in order to learn or to heal. So I had healing ceremonies, and i had learning ceremonies where spirits taught me through realization and awareness. And they are real, because i can see them in ceremony and they speak to me in whatever ways/language necessary to get through to me.
So no one will truly know what Ayahuasca is, not a man whose done it 20 times, not a shaman whose done it 20 000 times. Because what Ayahuasca is, can never be experienced directly, because when you ingest ayahuasca she manipulates herself to be presented to you, she manipulates the space specifically for the individual or individuals. That is why every single ceremony is a whole different world to the previous one.
What a shaman does i feel, is just to make first contact with mother ayahuasca, to allow her to create a safe space where her spirit can interact with you whatever way she determines would be the best for you to learn.
IT IS ALL REAL. because you see it, you understand it, you feel it. You experience it. it is not worlds you create out of imagination. Because you can never imagine what you see, it is not possible, the geometric patterns, the beings, spirits, ghosts, worlds you dive into.
For example...
In one of my ceremonies, very common.
I saw a giant Snake, MASSIVE, 60 foot long slithering in front of me looking at me directly in the eye. Ayahuasca wanted me to enter her. I was terrified I didn't know what to do, get eaten alive by this Giant Anaconda? You must be crazy... But as soon as I mentally prepared myself to enter this beast, she opened her mouth and swallowed whole whole. Straight away i was transported into another dimension of space and light and love. Millions of stars lit up the sky so bright and beautiful it filled my heart with love. I was flying in this unknown beautiful magnificent world.
that is what it means to fall in love with the Unknown, the Mystery that ayahuasca creates for you to experience, and each time it is completely captivating and different.
So to sum up, those who are interested i cannot have any description or stories to make you believe the wonder, beautiful love you receive with ayahuasca.
It is your own journey, through courage and strength for you to experience it for your own.
because I can show you the door, I can open it for you. But it is YOU who has to step through it.
You have to make the conscious decision to go against everything you've been taught, all your instincts straight into the Mystery, and when you do, you will discover the meaning of true adventure, enormous strength and the best of all. The reward of Love.
